Year 2021

 Hallo 2021

Purify heart

I came to this prayer n kinda like it

 Purify my heart, cleanse my inner thoughts and examine the very motives behind my acts and attitude, for I desire to live in the holiness of heart, and if there is anything that is displeasing to You in my life....

This write up is supposed to be published in year 2018, it was kept for 2 years just because i forgotten to publish it ... okay i am old 

I am often been told that I have been too open in sharing my life, my private issues ( i dont think i did) and many sensitive pieces on a public platform .. i wonder what kind of platform as i deactivated my facebook say like 4 years back mmmmmm. When I come to think of it, a smile rises to my lips. Not because I feel proud of being considered brave, but because I started this blog with full realization of the fact that i dont care lah .. n  who cares .. hell yeah 

The trouble any kind of blog/ insta/watsap stories would pose for me was, I wanted to start writing a daily diary ... Something that would register my life as it is in reality lah no sorok sorok  ... stop hiding the frustrations lah, no soaking up tears to pose as a strong girl .. , no airbrushed emotions, play happy life, no drama minggu ini lah, play hide n seek acah happy in reality hidup like crap ass..... all the pain, joy, hurt, bitterness, anger, innocence are everything in their true forms !!!

this blog of mine is a mission to let it out ... lantak la .. it may it holds much deeper meaning in my life than just telling the world what I went through, who I am, what am I made of and what life made me decide to do in my life circumstances... 

It has been 10 years since mak passed .. i still missed her dearly .. not a single day i have not been thinking about arwah .... love u mak

Labuan

Labuan is labuan ...

Gardening

Yes, today  i tried to do a family gardening ...by force of course 💪🏽 somehow it  requires a valuable active participation the four of us ... 🥴 me the mandor obviously, the hubs as vice mandor plus aqil as the head kuli n last but not least hannah the one always have something to gaduh about !!! 

Putting in a garden might seem like a big undertaking for all of us, but it can be as simple as grouping a few pots together or as elaborate as clearing a small area of some dying grasss ...What matters is working together as a family to create some-something ... n apparently editing the video is my expertise ... 😘😉

I hope its creates excitement and teaches  them to be involved as they need to be a part of the garden because they learn responsibility and structure; it's a good process to go through 😊😊😊😊

Mama papa larang by judika

wow .. nowadays song title are so catchy n yet it was sung beautifully ... 

i find the lyrics so catchy n funny .. this is so straight forward song .. no need of hidden seloka like the oldies .. yes la lagu orang dulu dulu full of  dramatic 🥴🥴

Paragliding at Bukit Jugra 2015

Hannah did her paragliding experience on march 2015

Arte plus

Last week me n my “adult kids”  went for a one night stay at arte plus somewhere in ampang  A so call condo with an Interesting design of place ideal for small group or family gathering. if you plan for a leisure or relaxing vacation, am sure this definately not the right place. its more like a treasure hunt activity .. but lucky me, i have 3 beautiful “adult kids” finding the keys as a starting of the explorace .. 
First of all the entrance was amazing . going to the parking lot was quit a challenge though .. neverless we managed to find it at last ..Lift is a little bit confuse to use, a lot of transit, once again if u have 3 “adult kids” with super duper brainy why wasted the energy of understand the building map? Let them do it babe ♥️
Overall the facilities are over rated .. 👎🏽         

2018 came too soon (part 1)

I am often been told that I have been too open in sharing my life, my private issues ( i dont think i did) and many sensitive pieces on a public platform .. i wonder what kind of platform as i deactivated my facebook say like 4 years back mmmmmm. When I come to think of it, a smile rises to my lips. Not because I feel proud of being considered brave, but because I started this blog with full realization of the fact that i dont care lah .. n  who cares .. hell yeah 

The trouble any kind of blog/ insta/watsap stories would pose for me was, I wanted to start writing a daily diary ... Something that would register my life as it is in reality lah no sorok sorok  ... stop hiding the frustrations lah, no soaking up tears to pose as a strong girl .. , no airbrushed emotions, play happy life, no drama minggu ini lah, play hide n seek acah happy in reality hidup like crap ass..... all the pain, joy, hurt, bitterness, anger, innocence are everything in their true forms !!!

this blog of mine is a mission to let it out ... lantak la .. it may it holds much deeper meaning in my life than just telling the world what I went through, who I am, what am I made of and what life made me decide to do in my life circumstances... 

nasi ayam

introducing the crispiest nasi ayam in town only in Dato Keramat Kuala Lumpur ... One of the best chicken rice in KL unfortunately i don't really remember the name of this shop hahahahaha.. the roasted thigh was tender and cooked just right, maintaining a smooth texture. Coupled with savoury gravy, the meal was made even better with a seriously spicy chilli dip....oh my...not forgetting the the hati goreng

Its ridiculously delicious and cheap too. Though the ambience is less than encouraging...

when u only have ALLAH

DiKala Diri Ingin Menuju Ke Arah Jln Penghijrahan....DiSaat IniLah Berbagai Ujian & Rintangan Ku Lalui.Ya Allah.!!! Berilah Aku KeKuatan & Kesabaran..Ku Berperang Dgn Perasaan Ku Sendiri..Sesungguhnya Kau Permudahkan Segala Urusan Ku DiDunia Mahu Pun DiAkhirat Kelak ..Ya Allah..!!! Ampunkan Segala Dosa2 Ku..Terima lah Taubat Ku Ya Allah..!! Aamin..Ya Rabballamin.

sad but true

RUGBY PAYMENT

FROM A RUGBY MOMMY


Why do i spend so much time running around for my son to play rugby? n pay for his rugby equipment ?? oh yeah I have a confession to make.....I don't really pay so much for hilman's rugby training or his kit, pads, gum shield or boots. Or even the hundreds of rugby balls.

but these are the so call payment that i paid for his 5 beautiful years in mckk

I pay for my boy to learn to take care of his body. .. the sado-ing body built by carrying two buckets of water i assumed


I pay for him to learn to work with others and to be a proud, supportive, kind and respectful team member... which sometimes friendship can actually become hatred ....


I pay for him to learn to deal with disappointment, when he doesn't get that try he hoped for, or dropped the ball despite having practiced a thousand times, but still gets up and is determined to do his best next time... no try its ok ....



I pay for my boy to learn to make and accomplish goals.


I pay for my hilman to learn that it takes hours and hours and hours and hours of hard work and practice to create a champion, and that success does not happen overnight.... but he will always be my champion at home


I pay for those moments when he becomes so tired he feels like quitting but doesn't.. eventually few of the games he did quit ...apo nak dikato


I pay for the opportunity that my boy can have and will have to make life-long friendships especially the koleq'q true bonding


I pay for the chance that he may have amazing coaches that will teach him that rugby is not just about game plays but about life.


I pay for my child to learn to be disciplined...the last word sounds so cliche

I pay so that my son can be on the field instead of in front of a screen...

I could go on n on n on but it would end up annoy readers n to make it short, I don't "pay" for rugby.. I paid the opportunities that rugby provides my hilman to develop attributes that will serve him well throughout his life, and give him the opportunity to bless the lives of others. From what I have seen for many years, I think it is a great investment.... can lah...

the impromptu getaway

This is an impromptu overnight booking for a one night stay in an award-winning beach resort . Very much a family occasion, just the three of us ...i was just looking for a quick weekend runaway, before the weekday reality hits....especially Hannah is starting her new life as an Uni student .


i was in love with the scenery and its faces the Straits Of Malacca offering exquisitely designed rooms ranging from chalets to villas.. we stayed at the premium sea view chalet as u can see above ...its the premium water chalet which has a full frontview of the ocean.,,the one in blue glass house opposite is the exclusive spa... At the price of less than rm500 per night, it does come with a magnificent view of the light green coloured sea and breathtaking sunset. Designed with the architecture of a malay fishing village maybe but the best of all is sitting at the balcony doing nothing...Nothing beats the sea breeze and the waves sounds surrounding the room.


        

Our room's balcony view is the beautiful spa building with the seaview background ...ist it beautiful ??


what more unique about this place is actually the open air bathroom. The ceiling is exposed so we can actually see the bright blue sky plus listening to the waves while doing my own business ...

We love it for the fact that Hannah n Aqil can swim to their hearts' content and we can just relax and be assured that they are well taken care of. The hotel staffs are warm and friendly..We just love to stay at this water chalets as the sound of the waves during the nights and morning are music to the ears. Would definitely return again.. Overall it was another great holiday so far 

Sending my hannah to Segi University

Dropping my hannah off for the first year of uni should can be the most stressful, emotional and illuminating experience in my life but not for me apparently... we chose the most nearest to our home ...its like 5 minutes  away form our residence that is why i managed to save away all dramatic my tears ..... 

i was lucky this time as i am getting away of a loss syndrome as the first signs of parents unexpected emotions may come as early as their child receiving confirmation of their university place.. or maybe now at least for the next 2 years i know that Hannah will be stay put with me but later when Hannah is at her 3rd year of med school she will be based in Sibu Hospital i rather not to think about it now ......we will wait somehow  ....

Atok is everywhere 

Daddy meanwhile, often feel he can’t admit to his sadness down with their friends and so lack the support that mums often get...

Meanwhile after all, lots of positives to focus on. i know Hannah is the balanced, stable and friendly type, i am confident that she will manage, and yes i might have little less space at home and more mess plus more ways to the kitchen, There’ll also will be more waking up at 12 am to 3am when your child rolls in from a night out. the mommy the security guard @#$%^^&^@$%@%

just a piece of mind

I remembered something that I felt I should share, in case someone is also like me out there. I realized that when i am down with any ding dong nonsense I will start singing. There's something about singing a song that really means something to me, even i don't sing that well, intact i may crack the bottle anytime hahahaha but that just makes me feel brand new! The feelings that sometimes overtake me just melt away into song. Every once in a while it'll trigger those emotions that were about to explode out, and I jdont cry, i sing .....I let the weight of stress, worry, sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness wash over me. Then I let it go. 
God has blessed us all. Not many can do our job, and I really hope this reaches someone that it can bring peace to like it did for me.... thanks for reading

Last Day in Koleq

Apparently these boys of MCKK 1216 can finally scream it from the rooftops if they can.... their days as a high schooler are over!   They made it to the grand finale appearance in the hargreaves hall of mckk receiving their muffler from Cikgu Sabri and was overwhelmed with excitement, nostalgia, triumph n full of honoured.

How lucky they was, and for teachers who shared fond memories of their last day of high school.
Soon enough, a wave of sadness overcame them as their friends and I realized that it was their last day of high school. For the first time, the thought of leaving homework and 7.30a.m. classes behind made me tear up. 

i was at their ground that day watching them for the last time in school's uniform ... it's all the quick snapshot of the boys last day of school...it as a good fine day.. Fun and emotional moments for them.. all i can see was its quite hard for them to say goodbye to the school they have loved so much especiallybeen living in it for the 5 "miserable" years :) ;)
but for me i personally will be missing seeing so many handsome, cute n joyful faces that i am used seeing every months of my visit...

They're a loyal group of friends who felt the same happiness as I did with my friends on the last day of high school. Yes, they were sad to finish up the journey of high school, but they knew that loyal friendships can stay stronger even after graduation n till their last breath ahead.

 It was a wreck of departure.... mommy gonna miss u boys 

i choose simple if i can

yes lah... where last year my entire brain was snapped and I thought might change was what I wanted n finally this year I think i wany all about simplifying things....boleh ker nokkkk 

I want to to simplify the way I live and the way I handle my family but seems its getting worst than ever and most of the major thing i want to simply blogging..

Last year I felt my head was going to explode n pop with everything that I was trying to do and keep up with. All the different gossips, friends n family things, different ways to connect with people and all the things I thought I needed and should be doing in my entire life 

The reality is - I don't need to do it all and have it all and try to be everything and something to everyone,  I just can't and so we only get ourselves in a pickle even trying.... peanut

So this year, simplicity it is.

simple family connection

simply getting weird 

simple being mad to Hannah n Aqil ( i wonder how ??)

Simple eating.

Simple blogging.

Simple living.

Simple loving.

Simple connections... just a simple life. ....  fuck em all

That is what I hope I look back at this time of the year next year and say YOLAH I nailed that word!

Welcoming 2017

Let υs welcome the new year, give the happy adieu to the old,
Start the new beginning withοut fear and cherish the memοries we hold

 

life is life

Life is wonderful!  The hard work n dedication to our dreams will provide us with great peace n contentment.  Take time to enjoy quiet moments of reflection and leisure.  most of the times i feel free to buy myself small, luxurious gifts.  Earned the independence n enjoy .... these are my dreams...yet to fill my vanity fair chest drawer soon....  for now lets just copy n paste