Blank (part 1)

Too many times now I've stared at the blank page of this blog’s template. And many times in the last weeks I've sat, spaced out, trying to figure out how get my thoughts in order and out onto this page. I am totally blank....I guessed i am out of ideas...oh no...
For a while now I've been thinking a lot about the why can’t I write? Why does it feel so hard? Why can’t I have the energy or the will? Was this as simple as I've been saying for so long that it is, that I am not just too busy with life and, when I have free time, i am too exhausted to write? no way i am in a free world...apparently

I finally realized that I've feared that I was losing what has always been a vital part of me, the part that needs to write to feel whole. I've felt the need to write, but not so strongly that I must drop everything and do it. Why? I'm at that point where I need to insert this to make peace with it..

And those times where the exhaustion is somewhat abated (thanks, coca cola!), and I feel the call to the blank page, I find I’m just not able to concentrate because my mind is on other things
I am surprisingly (to myself, anyway) focused as if I handle 1,000 things but then am totally blank  when I try to put it all in writing. 

It’s felt – for so long now – that while yes, I’m very tired and very so call busy, these things are hiding a bigger list of reasons why this blog just doesn't do it for me anymore. Because let’s face it, I am generally always a 'busy person', and as if motherhood rules is a permanently exhausting state??? hahahhahaha and in the past I've found or made plenty of time to write. So then, why now???

-/ to be continue....i lost my idea again....hmmmmm

BLESSINGS

People view their blessings differently.... Sometimes one's consideration of a blessing is nothing to another person. For example, one person might say that they are blessed to have food, an expensive car, handbags while someone else might think food etc is just a common thing. ...In spite of all that, there must be true joy that we can gain from life after we realize that being grateful for the small and big things in life enriches our lives....

Never compare yourself to others. This is one of those "duh" statements but so much easier said than done. Everyone has their own journey and mine is special and unique. I can offer something no one else can! (That whole paragraph sounded just like a typical mother coz i am a mother...)

MOM YES MOM

See those children?....they are  beautiful..... beautiful children? They are nowof course older  infact  they are taller than me.

Everytime when I look at this picture, a snapshot of how I want them to remember their childhood years and I always wonder, ”What did we do during these last ten to twelve years? Because they just flew away so fast.”

They drift, they slide, they shift and whatever


These words are absolutely define my days. It feels like sometimes I’m living life by beautiful drama. It’s happening to me while i just love my guiding it and directing it. What is it to live life with purpose?

Going with the flow sounds nice, but it does accomplished great things. And of course it doesn’t get the sheets washed, the laundry folded, or breakfast, dinner or supper been made. At its best, I suppose it means being ready to take great opportunities for learning and discovery at a moment’s notice. If I’m honest now and it sometimes means we spend all day staring at various screens.


Unless you’ve got a nanny, a housekeeper, a chauffeur, and a chef, it’s hard to manage a home and family–and still keep a smile on your face. But, it’s worth trying. Because nobody wants a crabby mommy...