Hannah MRSM graduation Oct 23rd, 2012

Today is Hannah's form 3 graduation day. And the first time ever MRSM Baling's graduation day ! This moment marks a very special time in every form 3 students life. The same goes to Hannah. It's a transition, a moving from one stage of life, to another. As such, I'd like to celebrate this special moment for Hannah in a blogging way: the creation of this page. Therefore, I'm writing this in honor and appreciation of my beautiful, talented, and very special daughter.

I'll loved to upload some photos, share a little bit moment about my daughter, and appreciate the many blessings I've received in raising her. Today, maybe is her last day of another year of school. Not just another year, maybe her last year of this school- insyaallah next year she will be moving to MRSM Taiping....

Sometimes ....there are events in life when i feel that time is flying by fast. Here is one event that made me feel that way. My Hannah's form 3 graduation. It seemed just like yesterday when I was buying her uniform for Q-Dees preschool and here we are now, at the end of that road and off to a new one...

The ceremony is approximately takes about 3 hours. This ceremony was a bit more special than other average graduation for a first timer like me. When we arrived at the school, we were handed a pamphlet. Usually these tell you what you can expect to happen, the schedule of what is to come...
Seating is available on a first-come-first-serve basis at the indoor hall ceremony. We really enjoyed the ceremony, it meant a lot to us. Everything was so organized and went quite smooth except the truly hot and humid temperatures...

While the speech delivered by one of the top man of Mara i was searching for Hannah name on the list and was quite surprised finding Hannah's name is listed as first class honour. Well back to my memory lane during my BBGS time, i would not count myself to be overly intelligent by any stretch of the imagination. So it was a thrill to see my daughter achieve her personal best and to do so well matching up the brains Allah had given her with the hard work and effort that she chose to put in to her studies.

The feelings were a bit overwhelming. Announcing those student receiving their certificates, finally I watched Hannah walk across that stage and I thought about how quickly these years have flown by.

As a mom it feels bittersweet, bitter that she is leaving behind childhood so quickly, but sweet because she is growing up into such a wonderful young lady. And i love you, not because you are beautiful, smart, creative, and talented, but simply because you are you...my girl, my very, very dear girl.

Pipe smoking

Travel to the north again for Hannah's MRSM Form 3 graduation ....again our trip would end up at pit stop kuala kangsar. In the evening we headed to Penang...put up a night stay before continues to Baling.

PENANG
This time we did not make any advance hotel reservations in Penang as we arrived on Sunday night. So we decided to check in to B suites. As a first timer in this hotel as we usually stays in Vistana i finds it a good choice. The room is really like a suite.. big, spacious, clean.... Another advantage is that this hotel is very near to Queensbay Mall, less than 10 minutes drive away. The rates are quite cheap too.... RM150 per night.

A big giant bed to accommodate the two of us.

MORNING ADVENTURE
Hubby n i got up late that morning and start hunting for food. And what a mouthful indeed, when you venture up north of Malaysia to Penang for their endless variety of food. It has everything you need to know about filling the tummy in the Pearl of the Orient. What else rather than drooling...yeah. Well well well, we're in Penang .....If it's not Nasi Kandar then we might head to a nearby Mall for a spot of McDonalds breakfast as usual weekend occasion.

QUEENSBAY MALL
Later hubby and I went to a local tobacco shop in queensbay mall and purchased his first brand new pipe, Understandably, he may not want to invest a lot in something he's not sure going to like or continue. However, hubby started off with a not-so-cheap or expensive pipe, so much the better. Some cheaper pipes do turn out to smoke quite well, but not all...That is fine as long as a few other things are taken into consideration. But we ended up in leaving a hole in our wallet.

The delicious aroma filled the air and floats through .

I would watch him in fascination. That said, I enjoy the image of a pipe. Very classic.

While watching hubby taken up pipe smoking i can feel the cozy feeling of pure relaxation. The art of pipe-smoking are more manly, relaxing, contemplating and just plain cool....

just being lazy

My poor blog needs a little attention. Life has been a bit crazy lately and it's been hard to keep this blog updated. I've been enjoying my weekend running up north and south again and my only free time is usually spent trying to get relax and enjoy my day while it's still here. But today is a rare, rainy, dreary day and since Hannah is up to her laptop right now, so I thought i have to sit down and blogging.

I admit for being such a lazy blogger but life is exciting and wonderful and new and brilliant and BUSY! That’s not to say I don’t have any bad days, because they do crop up occasionally, but I’m just enjoying my life as it is. If this is the best my health gets then I’m so very lucky because it’s enabled some wonderful things to happen. I try not to give up. No matter how dim, there is ALWAYS, absolutely always, light at the end of that goddamn tunnel.....

gulai tempoyak

Beat me for this super delicious recipe....so in the kitchen kak long AKA mama spirit batching upi with gulai pucuk ubi tempoyak.... She'd be looking forward for raya and she'd be cooking and I wont be there in the kitchen to help her.

We had a lot of fun catching up chit chatting what we missed, though everyone wasn't here, we surely missed those who couldn't make it! The kiddos had a blast playing together.

When my sis in law cooked out, and if I must say so myself, it was all very tasty...yeayyyyy....Thanks to my sis-in-law Khaslina for her delicious lauk...very the sedap!!! the only way i can eat tempoyak is gulai tempoyak!

"In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong not by the number of heads counted at the dinner table but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit."
- Marge Kennedy

FB again

Morning daily activities...got up from bed, start on my FB while doing some morning business lah...From time to time, I clean up my FB page. I have no use for bullshit, drama, fakes, liars, assholes or douche-bags. I don't really want to know about their lives and I certainly don't want them knowing about mine....
Not that I never update my status with anything personal, that's just not my thing. Why in the world would it be any one's business where I go, who I am with, what I am wearing, feeling, doing, eating or thinking every 5 minutes of the day? i mean its okay if its 3 times a week but not every 5 minutes.....????
I don't have an issue with self-importance or narcissism, so I don't feel a need to share how many shits I take a day or post pictures of how good my looks or even how much money i spent on my new Apple, Noritake, BMW, jeweleries and so on......

So, I cleaned it up and un-friended a few people. I didn't think they would notice since I have not spoken a real word to them in years. I don't comment on any of their statuses or pictures, I don't "poke" them or send them birthday wishes.

Anyway those i deleted are those that I haven't seen or talked to either one of these years. I don't consider them friends, never did and never will.

Then, there is few of my FB friend that i wish i could deleted them a few years back. This psycho bitch is always having this passive aggressive attitude but i know that she would realized if i would deleted her. I bet her she will be in a total craziness. And let me tell you, this is a very toxic bitch. She had to be the most two-faced backstabbing person I have ever known in my life, as well as a brown-noser. I couldn't wait to get rid of her, in fact, it was the first thing I did when I got the chance...

I remember, i did once deactivate my FB page and in a matter of hours I received a separate private messages via phone calls/sms basically asking me what happened to my FB? Wow, I am shocked....totally shocked...She is seriously upset about losing a Facebook friend. I don't think I'd even notice if I lost a friend or two on Facebook unless of course it was someone that I had an actual relationship or friendship with. Anyway, I find it kind of funny. Actually, I found it hysterical.

It just seems to me that people invest more emotion in their Facebook "friends" then they do in their real life friends. It shouldn't be used as a replacement for actual real relationships and it shouldn't be used to concoct some fantasy life or portray yourself as something you are not. But, these are just my opinions, and maybe I am wrong, who knows. But judging from the links below, I don't think I am too off the charts with this. Talk about crazy!

asshole

Today i came across an asshole sucker topic while talking to my long long distance friend from Germany, Liza Ramli Tiefensee...We had a super duper long conversation nothing more than rambling about this asshole...Of course someone we knew ....but can be revealing it in my blog...MAMPOS nanti...i began to love this words apparently.

Anyway I think everyone has had an asshole or two in their lives, I know I have had my share. Damn sick!!!But I have learned that one of the worst things you can do when dealing with an asshole is to engage in conflict with them. An asshole will battle to the death to prove that he or she is right, and they will use any means necessary to make you look bad. Patience and self- control is needed to deal with this type of person. The minute you lose your cool, they win. Just stand your ground and be confident. In many ways, trying to have a reasonable conversation with a person like this is a lot like trying to talk a toddler out of a temper tantrum. It's useless and mostly impossible...well an asshole will remain as an asshole.

There is only so much we can do, ultimately everyone is responsible for themselves. We can't always be the fixer, the mediator or the voice of reason. Some people are just assholes, and that's all there is to it. Don't allow yourself to be stepped on, used or taken advantage of. Don't allow someone else to shake your confidence or make you lose your self-respect. Stand firm and do what is best for you. Maybe someday the asshole in your life will realize that it's okay to be wrong, make mistakes and take responsibility for their own lives. Maybe someday they will realize that they don't have to be arrogant, disrespectful and condescending to get their point across.
Or maybe, they will just grow the fuck up.

just for both of u

I looked at you today and saw the same beautiful eyes
that looked at me with love when you were a baby.
I looked at you today and saw the same beautiful mouth
that made me cry when you first smiled at me when you were a baby.
It was not long ago that I held you in my arms long after you fell asleep
and I just kept rocking you all night long.
I looked at you today and saw my beautiful daughter and handsomely son
no longer a baby but a beautiful person
with a full range of emotions and feelings and ideas and goals.
Every day is exciting as I continue to watch you grow,
And I want you to always know,that in good and bad times
I will love you, and that no matter what you do or how you think
or what you say, you can depend on my support, guidance,
friendship and love every minute of every day.
I love being your mother.

Things u can't buy

I have always appreciated every little things in my life. For me, they are much more important than what we sometimes view as a big things. Sometimes watching Aqil smiling to me, watching Hannah gigling and watching the korean movie or K pop, head spinning looking at both of them talk fight, cooking a simple meal even sambal ayam or sambal sardin for my family, these are the things that are important to me and hold more meaning than any material good ever will.

You can never buy a memory, happiness or love. And you certainly can't replace it or trade it in.

My life is quite different from what it once was. I don't really have loads of money, I don't have a new car or a big house. I don't have a closet full of clothes and shoes, and I don't have the latest and greatest of anything....i dont even have the title Datin that can bossing around.

But what I do have, and what I will always have, is the LOVE of my two children. And because of them, I have not lost hope or faith in myself. I will stay strong, honest, loving, compassionate and loyal, to myself and to my family. I will never give up or give in and I will keep striving to do better.

Eventually, I will make sense of things, and in my heart I know I will get through these hard times. I will stand on my own two feet and not have any need for the hostile, negative and destructive presence that currently resides in my home.

Good always conquers evil...

Friends reunited

A social networking site called Facebook is the best medium in keeping in touch through the site and share photos and news. It was a wonderful idea. We, at this time, lived across the country from each other and were always looking for ways to keep the connection going. And its also a fun surprise! I have been scanning old photos and posting them and tagging friends, hoping to make them smile, as well.

How wonderful to have these photos to "remember" those times!

I am glad that finally able to reconnect after 25 years. This was a great day for me.
Today plus nervous, excited, curious, anxious...all words that described my feelings that would see me catching up with Shafiza and Roszailiza aka BBGS Fauziah Latiff. My long lost girlfriends from school. The most recently I had seen Tunku Shai was a week ago....

Seeing those familiar faces made me feel as though no time had passed. We all looked the same (except getting bigger sideways and few wrinkles ala ala manja gitu) and I had the same feeling of comfort and familiarity that comes from being with friends. We hadn't changed...just gotten older and wiser.

Our 3 hours was full of conversation what we had been up to over the last several years...careers, marriages, babies, family, etc. There was so much on catching up on and was not enough time as they r running to another friends place. There is a lot I have missed out on and gaps we have not filled in but there was still very much a feeling of picking up where we left off. These are women I used to spent a lot of time with during my secondary and we shared much of our lives with each other for several years. It is so wonderful to see them doing so well and happy in their lives.

Yes, it is time to reconnect. I've done so with many of my classmates (through FB) and we've found that we enjoy each other's company so much more now than we did when we were younger..

Ladies, thanks for a lovely afternoon and let's not wait so long before catching up again.

McDonalds

I have been going to McDonalds Kota Damansara at the same time every day for almost a year now...

The pancake set, hash brown n the aromatic arabian coffee ....hmmmmmm.... Hubby just loves it and has it like twice a week for brunch, while I prefer we get seomething else if we are going to get fast food....the normal slice of bread, chicken slice and microwave oven egg .....but nothing can't beat the fun fries though! Everyone I know loves it! I would be so sad if my friends hated it!!!! especially someone i knew claimed its just a piece of shit....perasan bagus lah tu.. My whole family eats it. I do too. We do cook and eat really healthy food at home or outside dining but don't see anything wrong with eating fast food..

I have to say, I'm pretty surprised that many people here love McDonalds so much. I don't know many people that will go there and order something other than mc chicken, fish fillet, spicy mc deluxe, etc and they think I'm gross and extremely unhealthy for getting my mc nuggets....but nothing bothers me at all, hubby is not one of those people, thank goodness!!!!

Dont really know what special about Mcdonalds breakfast set or maybe it is fun for him as a treat though...

Last weekend my hubby n i went to D'cengkih accompanied with our "lovey dovey" lovely couple Bidi n Izza all d way from Bukit Antarabangsa.

D'Chengkih is a Malay restaurant in Taman Tun Dr Ismail. This is the place famous for its Johorean food. What most, we just love the live music sessions go on within the narrow confines of the restaurant. The restaurant setting is worth mentioning. Sephia-toned pictures depicting days of yore and long-gone people adorned the walls. A touch of classic and pinch of nostalgia there – and more so while your'e on your breakfast or lunch and munch amidst soothing with the sound of the live music!

Not forgetting this place is always packed with people especially on weekends... They must be here for the spread (all laid out at the back for you to pick and choose) and surely they're here for the live music too!!!!!...

Hubby n i had nasi dagang with two different plates of course...on the table we do not share plates, fork or spoon...hahaha ...Nasi dagang that looked foreign here since this restaurant claimed to be specialising in southern food versus the east coast fare....the kelantanese cuisine . This speckled rice was perfectly cooked, with separate grains glistening with coconut milk. It was served with the requisite ikan tongkol (tuna) curry, with pickled pineapple, cucumber, onion, tomato and green pepper. The rice was surrounded by tuna curry (ikan tongkol) which was so delicious to eat. One taste and BINGO! We confirmed that we were in the presence of greatness - amazingly good and authentic nasi dagang. This was heavenly stuff that we could eat all day....sampai pengsan ... !!!

Bidi ordered for the ultimate Johor Laksa . Since Izzah herself hailed from JB, anak jati johorean la katakan and having been spoilt by the best Johor Laksa at the her hometown, she found the one here a little sweet. The curry for the laksa was thick with fish, it had the right spice mix in it, but why the sweetness? The Mee Rebus we ordered next was again high up on the sugar-meter. (The price of sugar has gone up, but obviously Malay cooks are still oblivious to this, and not just at this restaurant).

Conclusion of the day: HAPPY SEH......:)

betrayal

There is 'no worst kind of betrayal'. Betrayal is betrayal. Betrayal which ever way one looks at it, is no fun and recovering from it is no picnic. I would hazard a guess and say that most of us, if not all, have experienced betrayal in some form or other during our life time.

No matter how one experiences betrayal, it will change your view of and feelings for, the betrayer. It doesn't matter whether it's husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or friend, that's the reality. Relationships with spouses, lovers and friends are based on trust and the breaking of trust can have devastating effects. Betrayal affects the mind, heart and spirit.

Betrayal involves a sense of loss and so it follows, there will be pain, anger and grief. That's the bad news. The good news is that we can survive betrayal. It's not totally impossible for a relationship after betrayal to be healed even though the violation of trust is so painful mentally and in most cases, physically too. Some relationships survive the betrayal, others no matter how hard the parties involved try, do not.

I have (had) a friend, a very good friend...we knew since we were back then in BBGS. We had been through a great deal together. She is not everyone's cup of tea and I was warned by numerous people that if ever anything went wrong, she'd eat me alive. I chose to ignore all those warnings. I knew how she could be and yes, she was a little rough around the edges but my reasoning was that I saw a different side of her - the gentler side, the caring side - or so I thought. I'm normally a good judge of character and rightly or wrongly, have always tended to make a decision about someone the first time I meet them. But we can all become distracted or sucked in and decide that we were wrong about that person - especially in the event that he/she seems to be much nicer than you originally thought. Well the burning news is that the first decision you make (in my case anyway) always turns out to be the right one and if in the meantime, you did allow that person into your life, the results after a run in can be devastating.

Around somewhere this year something happened involving a close member of our friend. Because of its serious nature and the people involved, it inevitably blew up into a just a small scandal....not the intimate scandal...girls only. Because I have legitimate access to certain information I knew about it before it hit the ground. I did not discuss it with anyone. My friend was not aware of anything until the news broke.... I bet someone out there would have agreed with me that i really am a secret keeper....not the keypochi one...Bloody hell u friend...She then became furious with me because she knew that I would have known of the situation and her thinking was that as we were friends, I should have given her the heads up. She was not interested in my reasoning that what came to me was confidential and even as a friend, I would not disclose what I knew....i am an aquarian ...i keep other peoples secret as it is...

It did not stop there. As a result of her anger with me and in a bid to cover her own involvement in her own scandal, dah lah her own scandal...over la betina ni... she proceeded to spread lies about me, to assassinate my character and worst of all spread the rumour amongst my BBGSian friends and FB friends that I was the one who ensured that the news broke. Nothing could have been further from the truth. People who have known me for years began nothing to believe her ... Whilst keeping a brave face throughout the weeks that followed I was very angry, hurt and the toll was illness. I had been betrayed. Not betrayed in the sense that she had divulged some great secret I had shared but betrayed in the sense that she had stabbed me in the back. A normal reaction to betrayal is to want to retaliate. That doesn't solve anything. It only lengthens the time it takes to heal. 'An eye for an eye........' is definitely a bad idea!

It has taken me most of the month to come to terms with what happened. At the beginning I was very angry with myself that I went against my better judgement and first instinct which was not to allow her into my life. Oh I really beat myself up over that one and became very tired of the 'I told you so'. I hurt, but i never cry larrr...sound stupid kan but I grieved.. Then one morning I woke up and told myself that I was using up energy on something that I could not do anything about. So in my mind, I forgave her. I prayed for her and I forgave her. I forgave the lies and the betrayal of the friendship. That does not mean that I will ever interact with her again. I won't. But that's my decision and the path I choose to take. That path is not for everyone.

When we are grieving we become distracted. We may not look after ourselves properly. We can become so tired that we don't even know what day it is. It can seem that we are on auto pilot. We get through each day because we have to, trying to ignore the empty hole in the pit of our stomach and the nausea that can come with the emptiness. Emotional tiredness is the worst kind of tiredness - no one other than yourself suffers.

After a betrayal one has to decide whether or not it is possible to salvage the relationship. All parties have to know up front that the likelihood of the relationship ever being the same as before, is highly improbable but that doesn't mean it can't be worked through. For a start, the betrayed may find it hard to feel safe again, to trust again and even show love again and it is then up to the betrayer to put their best foot forward and do all in their power to make the other party feel comfortable once again. HEALING takes time, working through broken relationships takes time. Counselling may be of help to those who wish to forgive and move on but have come up against a stumbling block. (i am not gonna waste money on shrink bill of course!!! might as well i just let it go and do a one or two hour call to my best buddy Rozy...as usual)

Whether we stay together or part the most important thing in the healing process is the ability to forgive. Never easy but an essential ingredient if we are to live the rest of out lives without bitterness.

Rain and strong winds october 2012

Last night rain continuing to push lightly even though mainly cloudy....gelap sikit. But it was a strong winds across the area,,,,

I ended up in sleeping possibly out of concern that the (single-wind) windows might blow in. At time i was woken up by the howling wind in the middle of the night. I slept through the bloody thing.

Woke up the next morning, opened the curtains and saw the broken branches up and down the road. I was not amused. I can also remember a deep sense of disorientation and dislocation and feeling sad about the trees and definately my one and only waja. I moved my car to avoid it getting damaged. slightly dent... Thankfully miraculously the car wasn't that major damaged.

Love Affair 1994

Anyone falling in love with LOVE AFFAIR by Wearren Beatty n Annette Benning? yes ...me of course...

I have watched this movie numerous times, and every time it touches my heart. This is my favorite movie of all time! outstanding remarks from me. It is just a delightful movie and warms my heart. I always wonder if this movie was made during the beginning of their (Annette and Warren's)love story???

The story revolves around two people (Warren and Annette) who crossed their paths while on a flight, they had emergency landing on an island where she meets his aunt (Katharine Hepburn). Both are engaged to others but they fall in love each other......on a flight back, they promise that they will meet up again in New York few months later and if they still love each other. I don't want to spoil this movie, so you should watch this if you want to know the ending....so come on..tengok lah sampai abis....

The setting is very beautiful and refined. Even though it's just picture, I could feel that I am there. Oh silly me...I can feel the wind and heavy rain in this movie. I can see the film director's effort to take a photograph of the beauty of the nature.

Again let me repeat it for hundred times, I have watched it over and over and every single time I feel the same emotions.

SDAR 10

I'm a rugby mum through out and through in. After few months on the sidelines cheering my Aqil , I beginning to know a very little about the rugby rules. currently, I'm comfortable that what I am calling out to my son on the field is relevant to the game and I have a voice and more to the point, I'm not afraid to use it....

This year however, Aqil decide of being totally dedicated to his dream of playing for MCKK Rugby U13.

First of all,I know nothing or somehow ZERO about rugby and it seems that no matter how many amount of explaining from my hubby seems to make any difference at all. It goes in one ear and out the other and I'm hands up admitting defeat on the subject. I figure I'll just cheer when all the other parents on our team are cheering or when my Aqil has the ball in his hands or brings down another kiddo on the opposite team who has the ball in his hands.

Today was quite special. Yes today is the day i sees mothers, fathers, siblings, friends especially from our own MCKK tent screamed like a banshee as their sons dodged, trampled and barged and galloped the length of the field before performing a totally unnecessary but super impressive all super styles diving over the try line. even tak sampai pun....They were punching the air, jumping up and down and hugging anyone in grabbing distance. They even look desperately wanted to run out onto the field either to kill the referee or smother their boys in kisses when the game is over...
Well, i wanted to do the same but a little voice inside my head called a conscience insisted that it would just be too cruel to embarassed my Aqil. Instead I waited until after the game and then I went into full gush mode.

In my case however it seems that ignorance equals silence and my son has been very grateful that my days of screaming out from the sidelines are actually us.... until today.I may not the silent spectator role and let the world know (or at least everyone at this particular field) that I'm not really the shy reserved and quiet new rugby mum after all.

Luckily i am good in snapping away with the camera and managed to capture every one on the MCKK team try in all it's glory.

I still know nothing about how the game is played and I am sure I will still stress about every little thump or tackle I witness, but by hell I found my voice and my enthusiasm for this game today and I am proud to say that I am now a rugby mum to boot!