JPO christmas 2012

Christmas eve 2012, we arrived JB in the late evening after a long, hot day of traveling from Mersing without any advance hotel booking. There is no more room available during this festive season but lucky us got a last room on earth in Amansari Hotel located in the heart of JB city center. We had a nightmare checking into this hotel ...Nothing compares to Havanita Hotel that we stayed in Mersing.. The room size was ridiculously too small and the parking area was too narrow. We arrived the hotel at late hours, the hotel parking are ridiculously limited (30 bays VS 200+ rooms???). Hubby spent half hour for parking searching, eventually he gave up and so lucky that there is one place to park in somewhere at the parking lot. As i said earlier this is the only room left and we were damn exhausted by that time and ready to snuggle in for a night of rest in our room. ended up all 4 of us squeezed in one tiny room....zzzzzzzzzz

The room

The view

The very next day, hubby decided to check out and start our journey back to Kuala Lumpur. Before we leave, we had our lunch at Singgah Selalu. They have a wide range of Malay food.

The entrance

Funny her of having burger for lunch LOL

Hubby n me sharing the mee bandung

Heading to KL and stop by at JPO but our driving to JPO is so damn thrilling . It was an interesting for a moment, for sure until we got a little lost due to the lack of signage. After all the hype and anticipation, we finally made our way to JPO... question? Is it worth going?

Yess ...Johor Premim Outlet is the first premium outlet in Malaysia and I am sure many of you have visited this place on its opening day; and I am only here now, kinda outdated. I was all the ready and dreaming that i could buy designer goods at a fraction of the price ..

Anyway, I was told by few of my friends that the concept and design is about the same as the Premium Outlets in U.S. except that this is much more smaller. How small it is then? I had a look in most of the stores available here. All items sold are mostly old stocks and outdated items around 3-4 seasons ago....maybe The price wasn't that impressive as I thought especially for KL people. I guess too many warehouse sales in KL spoiled the fun of doing shopping spree here, I can find much more newer and cheaper items back then in KL rather than in JPO.
I was shocked seeing the Coach Outlet is the only store that you might need to be queue to go in. If anyone are aiming for coach, I guess you can get good deal here. Most of the prices are slashed around 40%-50%. But not for me, i dont go for coach,I have definitely lost my need for Coach hand bags. I thought i always have the feeling that i should have one or two and hopefully last me a very long time....but not now...Yueukkkkkkkkssssss I'm sorry to have to do this, but let me get this off my chest. Coach is officially over!!! I know that's a bold statement.. Is there something about designer handbags in general that becomes unoriginal when everyone is wearing them??? everyone i see

Esprit where me ended up shopping at? Yes the fluorescence green shopping bag catched my eyes. And there were bargains aplenty! Had a normal price of RM 179 which was discounted to RM39 at the outlet store! And same goes with Hannah's. The same fluorescence green sling bag...so much for RM20.



Anyway it was nevertheless a nice experience.

The garbage the garbage

i am sick with the garbage truck guy ..seriously i am..they have the worst attitude in the world. if they drop rubbish in the street on bin collection day...they just leave it. and if you leave an extra bag of rubbish...they won't take it for you...unless you give them money - then they will!!
but to think of it i have no rights to be mad off..The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, and wish them well, say a prayer for them and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.


Thats explained that sometimes many people are just like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you !!!
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so . . . love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don't. We're not always responsible for everything that happens to us, but we are
responsible for how we react to what happens.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a wonderful, garbage truck day !!!!!!!

zzzzzzzzzz

Sleep is time for the body in general and the brain specifically to shut down for rest.

Stress Mode

Ok. I'm working on handling stress in healthy ways please exclude the smoking and drinks lah precisely. But I do eat lotsa sugar. I eat way too much sugar n sweets things. I need to find out how others handle stress as my life is full of it right now ever since Hannah n Aqil are away recently. It's just lately I seem to be getting hit in every each area of my life... an uncontrollable.I know it will pass but when going through trials it's not really nice though .... I was just on the chocolate website and I found this... Now this could help me with stress!! ... No? Okay... okay Ita...move on..




Since no one has complete control over stress i should probably do my best not to have heart attacks, high blood pressure nor diabetics.

So I did some reading....Apparently people do yoga to relieve stress....Really ? how does it works where I can't even touch my toes, much less bend in those contortions! i believe i have more stress if i would break my bone then...

Now this might have have some merit... Here are a list of foods that are meant to help with the stress and naturally improve mood, when I do find myself turning to sugar, I have noticed that the high is temporary and I had crash hard, wanting to crawl in my bed and do the sleep beauty job, usually feeling "Down"... does too much sugar do that to you? There is one article actually says eat Dark Chocolate. Ew. I don't like it... not sweet enough (Ironically)... Of course "Whole" foods and Tuna are on the list, as well as Saffron, I've seen Saffron around a lot lately...yeah i tasted when my friend Lina Abdul Samad gave me saffron dipped in a mineral water...tasteless...sorry Lina . Saffron is good for headaches and mood enhancement... Biasa jer

I think the real key is doing exercise. Exercise for mood? seems to me i am busy mst of the days... Is that an excuse? It seems I find time in life for blogging, or facebooking. I don't really watch TV, so no excuses there... but I'm beginning to believe I make more excuses for myself than I stand up and do something about it. I'm so tired, I'm so stressed, I'm so down... Yes... people in our lives can have a huge impact on our lives, but how much am I bringing on myself by just not taking better care of my ownself?...i might regret later on perhaps....

silent treatment is a danger sign !!

I am now a person "just get over it" etc and is treated quite harshly when this is not at all the way to deal with such people. I myself can attest to how it feels to experience the highest highs of love as well as the lowest of the lows and then to lose it all. This harsh treatment almost always comes from those who have not experienced the same situation and i will seek to advise another but cannot help but to be harsh, is that i should simply stay silent and leave it to those who will show some compassion and patience. (I remind myself before others, inshaa'Allah.)

It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and men respond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on the receiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in their power to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t. They just deal with it.

I am grateful that along the way, I have had such wonderful friends outside the family who have given me wisdom and strength and compassion. My arwah mak did teach me how to love, and and be loved, and for that I am very grateful. I am also grateful that my memories of her are coming back, I think my mother should be remembered and that her memory should not be hidden. Know who are my true friends are from the actions, and respect, from people all the little signs too. I always take note of who adds positivity to my life and who leaves me feeling down or upset. Then take action accordingly. It is their issues, i can only control what is within my control.

It is a mental battle to heal and recover from someone who I thought I could hold on and be together for many years. I totally cannot hear what i say about “good love”.

For some people, I don’t think the behaviour is intentionally cruel, am I in denial? Perhaps, I guess it is cruel, as she/he knows she's/he’s doing it, I view it more as inhumane, and heartless. I guess they are all the same words, and I am making excuses! But not necessarily malicious, in the way I’ve read some "abusive" relations can be where they get enjoyment from controlling you. I guess that is what it is, the silence is control isn’t it. Dictating when i can or can’t be allowed to communicate. Treating someone like they don’t exist is however awful, especially when I have been so loving. It’s a really heartless thing to do. I just dont get that behaviour at all. How can anyone do that to someone they loved, or they know loves them. How? the truth is i was the one doing it...its so me now !!!

Anyway, as time goes by , i am always right, I need to recover, rebuild, get back to my old confident self. Babai

Aqil's 2nd year in MCKK (Jan 1st,2013)

It's what life is all about – setting our kids free – seeing them spreading their wings… but it's still sad.
Sending Aqil back off to MCKK for the first time isn't a very easy thing to do. But this year much much more better...Thanks u Allah for that feeling.

We dropped off Aqil last week at his new hostel dorm. That time I always wondered if I would cry. I wondered how I would feel. If I'm being honest, I thought I would be somewhat relieved: one less mouth to feed, one less person banging on the bathroom door, one less person to contribute to arguements with his sister Hannah, etc... But, truth-be-told, I really miss him! I am reminding myself that he's a good kid, and we've done a good job with him, and he will be just fine. But, it's still hard to have him gone. Thanks to Facebook and Twitter(and that he almost remove me after warned me once because I made a typical "Mom" comment about his viewpoint on a controversial topic) the kaypoh mommy i am....checking his facebook account every now and then...almost every day i suppose.....HAHAHAHA at least I can hear from him when he makes a post, even if it is nonsensical! I wanted to put a post on my Facebook page on the day we dropped him off that said "I hope I did a good job as a mom....but i dare not and look on the bright side...Soon he will grow up to become a man, a husband with a wife and his own family. My little boy is now gone.















I have to understand this sadness, even i don't lose sight of the fact that i must have done a lot right, because he is doing just what he should be doing. Quite a few years ago, when my eldest daughter Hannah went out of state to MRSM Baling and people said, "oh, aren't you sad for her to go so far away." My response was, "I will miss her, but what would make me sad would be if she was living at home, had a year old baby and worked at McDonalds." She was doing just what she should, and so is Aqil. Roots and wings…if we give them both, we've given them a lot.

So...fly away my Hannah n Aqil...










In order to ease my pain leaving both of them away in boarding schools i always tell myself when they comes home on breaks i will be so elated,... but then,the time to go back ultimately will come. it is hard to 'let go' again... and it will continue for the next few years at least. each time they comes home, you will feel like ''yay!! things are right again"...they are my truly happiness





When I said “Goodbye,” to Aqil at the end of the day, I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends, so I hugged him and turned away....


And this is what I am dreading a few years from now!!!!.....

Sending Hannah back to MRSM Baling again 2013

My Hannah is starting her schooling again, and hubby and I will drive her 6 hours to her boarding school to help her get settled in her dorm. Saying goodbye will be one of the hardest things I've ever done...






I am not very good at letting go. During my son's first weeks of MCKK prepschool last year, I hugged him and had to walk away as i sat crying in the car. Leaving him there to navigate on his own stretched my mommy muscles to a new breaking point.

No one ever prepares the hurt that accompanies sending your baby off to college.
As i stood in the darkness (its a daylight actually) of the parking lot outside Hannah’s dorm, I felt as if I could not breathe. Waves of grief overcame me. She hugged her Daddy. Next she hugged her brother. I stood, waiting for my turn, tears streaming down my cheeks. Finally she came to me. I held her for what seemed forever as we both wept…no words just tears. Finally, we spoke our last goodbyes. Everything in me wanted to run after her. I wanted to turn back time and take her home…just one more month with me. But I knew that was not possible.

It was time…time for her to journey into the next phase of Allah’s plan for her life…a plan I know is perfect…a plan I know is one planned by Allah since before time began…a plan to prosper and not to harm her…a plan to give her hope and a future.
But knowing those truths does not make saying goodbye hurt any less.

This time around sending Hannah I felt really sad. But I quickly came to terms that soon later how I have to handle my emotions that come along when 2 of my kiddos moving out of the house...As we drove home, the ache in my heart grew. The drive back from Baling to KD seemed like it took an eternity. But the drive helped me realize that my relationship with my daughter is not ending in any way, shape or form; it is just entering a new chapter....which actually started 3 years ago when she started her form 1 in the same MRSM...









Walking into the house brought waves of tears. It hurts so much. How do I walk this walk? How do I live each day knowing her bright, smiling face won’t be walking through the door every afternoon. How do I serve dinner every night with one less place setting? How do I go to Giant knowing she isn’t with me to check my shopping list? How do I watch the korean movie Heart Beat without her explaining to me? She is everywhere!!!
How will I walk this walk? The only way I know how…one step at a time…with my Allah guiding each and every step and with you, my sweet friends, whose prayers and words of encouragement have held me up. It is such a lonely feeling, yet you have helped me know I am not alone.


My dearest Hannah ... i will always love u till the end of my life ...
Let the sweet waves of loss wash over you for they will eventually give way to joy!
So, I will wait patiently for the Joy that always comes in the morning.

blogging vow

For the last 2 weeks, I’ve done something I vowed I think i would never do. I was skeptical that i could maintain a high level of quality. I thought i am overwhelming with my own blog. I feared that if i am blessed with a talent that no one else had; like savants whose unique ability was writing blog posts. I want to blogging everyday. Inspired, I committed to write every day. I’ve always known that if i want to get good results , i must be willing to work as hard or harder. Thankfully, I was wrong. Here is what I learned -

1- I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to generate new ideas every day. i lost without inspiration...maybe i am too relax at home eventually.. I struggled for the miserable 3 days and then my brain kicked into gear. Knowing that I MUST write a good post, my subconscious started storing ideas and clues for new posts...and yet nothing appeared... how pity am i..
2- A quality post is one that is genuinely helpful, entertaining, and relevant to the my blog follower. Length may vary but sincere writers won’t allow themselves to publish crap. But i am proud i love to blog about my family more than anything else so i called it very quality...
2- Increasing my publishing frequency, however, does not sure about new readers. I still need to promote my blog posts. I still need to create an email list. I still need to work hard on creating attractive headlines that grab attention. But i hate too much attention...i rather be on low profile mode...


Writing every day won’t be fun at first. It will feel like a job but my brain will get with the program and i will start to enjoy it. For me its just like keeping myself updated on my progress throughout the year. and it's amazing effort and results! The dedication to write everyday is definitely something. I will try to keep up the awesome work...so perasan me

Cookies that are too cute to eat

family

Hannah's PMR result !!!!!

Alhamdulillah...received a sms from MOE to say that my Nurin Hannah scored 8As in her PMR examination. Feeling thankful and proud of her achievement (and at the same time relieved too..no more tight feeling of the past few days whilst waiting for the result to came out), I cried inside with her.

Hannah,
Daddy n Mommy are so proud of you, my love. Always do your best in everything you’ve chosen. We’ll be there to support you what may come. And Hannah, remember that there are more and higher mountains to be climbed later on in ur life... Climb every each at your own pace, reach out for its peak, and expect the unexpected – bruises and skinned knees - along the way....

A mother's treasure is her daughter.