Sending Aqil back off to MCKK for the first time isn't a very easy thing to do. But this year much much more better...Thanks u Allah for that feeling.
We dropped off Aqil last week at his new hostel dorm. That time I always wondered if I would cry. I wondered how I would feel. If I'm being honest, I thought I would be somewhat relieved: one less mouth to feed, one less person banging on the bathroom door, one less person to contribute to arguements with his sister Hannah, etc... But, truth-be-told, I really miss him! I am reminding myself that he's a good kid, and we've done a good job with him, and he will be just fine. But, it's still hard to have him gone. Thanks to Facebook and Twitter(and that he almost remove me after warned me once because I made a typical "Mom" comment about his viewpoint on a controversial topic) the kaypoh mommy i am....checking his facebook account every now and then...almost every day i suppose.....HAHAHAHA at least I can hear from him when he makes a post, even if it is nonsensical! I wanted to put a post on my Facebook page on the day we dropped him off that said "I hope I did a good job as a mom....but i dare not and look on the bright side...Soon he will grow up to become a man, a husband with a wife and his own family. My little boy is now gone.
I have to understand this sadness, even i don't lose sight of the fact that i must have done a lot right, because he is doing just what he should be doing. Quite a few years ago, when my eldest daughter Hannah went out of state to MRSM Baling and people said, "oh, aren't you sad for her to go so far away." My response was, "I will miss her, but what would make me sad would be if she was living at home, had a year old baby and worked at McDonalds." She was doing just what she should, and so is Aqil. Roots and wings…if we give them both, we've given them a lot.
So...fly away my Hannah n Aqil...
In order to ease my pain leaving both of them away in boarding schools i always tell myself when they comes home on breaks i will be so elated,... but then,the time to go back ultimately will come. it is hard to 'let go' again... and it will continue for the next few years at least. each time they comes home, you will feel like ''yay!! things are right again"...they are my truly happiness
When I said “Goodbye,” to Aqil at the end of the day, I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends, so I hugged him and turned away....
And this is what I am dreading a few years from now!!!!.....
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